Feeling damn f(reak)-ing bad now k. Lemme list you why.

• Slept @ 2+ tdy morning. Slept fer merely 4h, gah. Practically sleepwalk t sch like some zombies or smth.

• I was mute fer th day, IDK why. I ain’t angry w/ anyone or anyth. I just don’t feel like talking. I knw many of you attempted t pry my mouth my open & talk. I tried, but no words come out. IDK wht to say to peepo, seriously. Sorry if i ignored y’all or smth, didn’t really mean it. I feel so helplessly stupid & stuffs. I feel so ridiculously different from th rest of th ‘normal’ peepo. I feel v.lost & worthless. I knw i oughta stop thinking like this but th more i keep quiet, th more i drift into such thoughts. I knw mouths are meant fer talking but for a change, i wish t talk constructive stuffs instead of gossiping & blah, but it’s going t be boring i knw. I seriously DK wht t do, f(abulous). Peepo are hard t please. Can someone tell me wht t do? Even when someone knocked into me, i felt emotionless. Wth. No flicker of dismay/anger. I just resumed my activities like a robot. Thn aft i left th canteen, i started screaming hysterically. CAN YOU STOP BEING SUCHA WEIRDO JIAHUI? CAN’T YOU BEHAVE LIKE ANYONE OUT THR? Think i’ve always been so used t bottling up everyth that i’ve been able t be sucha great pretender.

• I realised tdy that everyth abt me are v.extreme. When i’m happy, i can laugh like thr’s no tmr but if i’m upset, nth in th world can cheer me up & t me, th world seems t be coming t an end. & t make me happy/sad, it can just be even th lil-est thing, & i really mean lil-est of all thing. When i’m quiet, i can really be deadly silent but if i’m talkative, a can be v.crappy & irritating. Strange personality. Feels like i’ve got split personality or smth.

• Quarreled w/ parents again. Whenever i do smth, i’m always at wrong, i’m unable t please anyone. No one’s on my side everytime(generally). Even whn i tried t be nice, peepo either take it fer granted/ scold me. Think tht my parents, esp my mom, don’t even appreciate me,they’re supposed t be my parents. Parents, parents, parents. They’re supposed t assure me of my capabilities, encourage me & be proud of me even tho i mightn’t be of someone worth being proud of. Mommy apparently loved my cousins mre, taking their glory as if their own but hardly breathed anyth abt any achievement of me, however small. When i told them how nervous i was fer th upcoming ‘O’ Level Chi Oral, they put me off & rattled on and on abt how detached i am w/ my cousins. F(riend), when i hated them so much, you want me t talk t them? HAH, I’d have been a hypocrite then. I tried t love them ok. Yes, tried. I don’t understand why everyone love them so much, relatives & parents, just because they’re young & cute. Seriously, i don’t find them adorable at all, such boasters & irritating children. I’ve always tried t perfect my behavior and attitude, but compared t them & other peepo, friends & all, i feel so small & negligible. Wht’s th pt of being sucha goodie-two-shoes when no one even appreciate it? But once i start t change, everyone starts gossiping behind my back & stuffs. HELL.

SCREAMS* Feels so horribly terrible yknw? As if i’m a walking corpse w/o a soul, a heart. TALK LAH JIAHUI, IDIOT. I feel like crouching down and scream everyth out.

Peepo been asking wht hit me tdy, & i think this could most prob be th reasons. If you have any negative comments abt this post, kindly keep them t youself & gossip w/ your friends. I don’t live for your comments so shut up.


Sometimes it's nice t look back @ how you've came thus far & have a good laugh @ yourself. Look how much you've matured & stuffs. Rmb-ing th times when twiting of words were th in thing, hah. O remarked that i seemed t have became quieter aft hols & i do agree w/ her. IDK wht's wrong w/ me but somehow i feel v.alone. Th loneliness looming in me & a sence of impending doom, tht a conflict would soon be picked up, probably bcos whenever i feel down & blah, i have a tendency t throw tantrum @ everyone unreasonably or simply just ignore/stop talking t them. I knw this shouldn't be th way, trying t change it alr (:


BETTER but still not thoroughly ok yet. Nothing happened in particular actu tho, part of growing up as i said. Realization & awakening from th mistakes. Tight slap on th face of how i used t be. This is supposedly t be my 100th post but I don't see a big deal out of it, a nice no. that's all. Had a haircut just & it looked f(reaking)horrible. Mommy! D: Gah, it's ok. I'd pin it up again. Grr.


Feeling EXTREMELY bad now. Th emotions just hit me like a tidal of waves. Wht t do, whot turn t. Assure me it's part of growing up & I'd be fine soon. Afterall it's part of growing up isin't it? Completed eng hols hwk but e.lit's still undone D: Grr. I'm still thinking how i'm gonna put it to Ms See tmr /: Anywayzx, received th 'O' Lvel chi entry proof. Gah. Super nervous abt it. It's just next tuesday. God, bless me, w/ all th power of elements on earth.


Dx

I'm sure i don't hafta qo on t explain why this pouty face do i ? Recall tmr's date & you'll qet why. Hols hwk still undone. I'm in fer it this time /: Viewinq tmr w/ a mixed feelinq. Excited yet dreadinq. Missed lotszx of lovely peepo in sch but th rest of th schdays t come is really irkinq me. Grr. Hols, do come aqain soon alriqhty? (:



RACE AGAINST TIME. Last week of hols are always always always the busiest week fer all stud. Lots of hols hwk untouched. Gah, better buck up & start work jiahui :D

Currently back into movies aqain. It's not qood, i knw. But w/ really nice & interestinq new movies cominq up, it's simply irresistible D: Thr are so many movies i wish to watch;uncountable. Would most prob be catchinq a movie + dine tqt w/ miss wanq aft mind cafe trip w/ mei & (?) tmr. & mommy just told me ystd to inform tuition centre that i couldn't make it fer both tuitions on fri ; they're brinqinq me to NIGHT SAFARI w/ relatives as uncle qot free tickets. Wheets* Niqht safari, niqht safari, NIGHT SAFARII ! Omq. I've always wanted to make a trip down to the zoo someday this hols & now my parents are brinqinq me even tho it's @ niqht but still, ANTICIPATING;D Jump for joy*

!Random: now that i've realised, th weather nowadays is really humid. Beads of perspiration would start tricklinq down even whilst i'm sittinq down @ th livinq room or smth. Gah. God, please send us some wind+rain.



! WARNING LAST WEEK OF SCH HOLS .

IDK why I'm countinq the no. of days i have left but still../: I miss sch in a way but i dread it as well D: Hols hwk yet to be completed, but soon :D Hah, it have to be anywayzx. Okay. This shld be abt it.

P.s. Better dream toniqht, i hope.



HAPPY FATHER'S DAY ! ♥ To both daddy & of course M.B daddy :D Yeh, i still love my daddy despite everyth ystd. Conflict w/ daddy's resolved but w/ mommaye..D: Nvm, it's just one of those thinqs i suppose? Sorry i hadn't enouqh time to qet the presents. Just learnt that it's father's day tdy on fri aft tuition. Gah. But a belated one is a promise ☺

Taqqed by matey to do these. Decided to do this since i reckon some of the questions are really interestinq. Hah.

1. What do you think an ideal best friend should be like?
Look into all my qood friends, they possess qualities i think ideal best friends shld be like. You miqht not aqree tho, but to me, it's. Everyone's diff.

2. If you have a dream come true, what would it be?
Hmm, not quite think of it yet. I'd take wht i can qet fer the time beinq.

3. Who’s life would you want to takeaway most?
Hah, is thr dine in? Wht question. Takeaway fer (?) in the first place.

4. What would you do with a billion dollars?
Slap myself awake from bed. It's apparent it's just a dream. A v.nice one tho :D

5. Describe yourself in three words.
-SKIP- Rather note to self in three words : Take it easy.

6. Which is more blessed, loving someone or being loved by someone?
Both are equally as blissful. 'My qreatest happiness in life is to love & be loved' IDK who quoted it but still, makes sense.

7. What’s the one wish you’ll make this very moment?
At the current, a clone to help me complete my hols hwk & everyth else.

8. Is there anything that has made you extremely happy?
When? Not quite but certainly, thr must've been ;D

9. Do you believe in ghosts?
Yeh. & monsters under the beds,witches & stuffs. Hah. (Note th sarcasm)

10. If the person you like secretly is already attached, what would you do?
Wait till they break up then intercept. Hah. Kiddinqs :P That happens pretty often doesn't it. Accept th fact. Wht else can i do?

11. Would you like to confess to someone you love by yourself, or through your friends?
Confess by yourself would be qood but usu fer me, I'd keep it to myself.

12. Who are currently the most important people to you?
Loved ones. Those whom i treasure & cherish.

13. What kind of person do you think the person who tagged you is?
That'd be ANTIYOU CCCCCCC! (wonder if i qet th no. of Cs riqht) Hah, till he/she reveal his/her true identity, no comments.

14. Would you rather be single and rich or married but poor?
If forced to make a choice, married but poor. Wht's th pt of havinq ultimate riches whn thr's no one whom can share your joys w/ you?

15. What is the first job you wanna take once you graduate from school?
Events planner fer joyous occasions. Balloons, yes, thr MUST be balloons ;D Heh.

16. What’s one thing you hate most yet you can’t change?
History, as in my own. Till i have th ability to turn time back.

17. How would you rate the perfection of you life now? On the scale of 1 to 10.
IDK. It depends on a daily basis.

18. Among your friends, who do you think is/are the most similar with you?
Understand me, but no one can ever be similar to me entirely. Everyone's an unique individual.

19. What do you think makes you stand out from the others?
hmm, hah. -SKIP-

OKAY. A chanqe in skin aqain. Dee previous one was really adorablee but still i've fiqured out i prefer balloons above everythinq. So, here's my new skin, a collaqe of balloons :D

• Tuition was cancelled aqain ystd cos TT wasn't feelinq well D: Tho i detest tuitions, but still, qet well soon k cher? (:

• Went to Audrey's Salon to qet B's hair rebonded. It was faster than expected I'd say :D Make me feel like rebondinq hair also lehx. Tskk. It was really nice & comfortinq to be tqt w/ her. E lauqhters we shared , chats & simply everythinq we do tqt ♥ P.s. My previous skin did have mouse in it afterall now that i looked back @ it, B (:

• Met TM fer tuition, weekly routine ;D Walked arnd awhile, bouqht some stuffs then went fer tuition. We were early fer tuition ystd ok? Lauqhed & went bonkers durinq tuition. That stupid woman kept lauqhinq @ my qrr & qee D: Aww, feel so hurt lehzx. Hah.

• Went to dee coffee shop arnd TM's estate to dine aqain. I think I'm used to eatinq e same old dish everyweek after tuition. Walked matey home then went back fer P.Chem tuition.

• Still couldn't catch anythinq durinq P.Chem tuition. GRR. But it's ok, I'm sure i'd be able to pace up aqain sometime. Acc mei to buy her fries from Mac then homed. Ohoh. & i qot a shock of my life when i saw mei's haircut, not in a bad way or anythinq, just shocked, perhaps bcos i nvr expected her to cut her hair till that lenqth.

• Homed & confer-ed on e phone awhile w/ B & Firman. Wanted a confer w/ GA.S initially to discuss abt e class qatherinq but it's late so we aborted e idea. It was a crazyyy time on e phone w/ B & Firman luh, lauqhinq & screaminq, well, only me :P

All these stuffs all the while. Those beautiful lies you weaved. I chose to refrain from it once & for all. I did MY ok. But chose to retain your speculation & pin me down. Speechless was what you left me, seriously you did. But I'd still live on w/ or w/o you. Moved on pretty fine till now as a matter of fact (:

What d'you think abt this bloqskin? Nice? Yeh, you better aqree cos it's done by ALICIAHOMUNYEETM! ♥ Firstly thanks fer everythinq ystd matey. Sorry i had to leave halfway when you were helpinq me. Sorry fer beinq so fickle-minded + picky D: You went thru lots to help me create this skin & i appreciate it; i really do & i love this skin to the MAX. Bouqht a lil somethinq fer her, shall pass it to her lata durinq tuition. Can't imaqine what's her reaction when she see what i've prepared :D Hee.


10 MORE DAYS TILL DEE HOLS END.It's sickeninq, really /: I miss school in a way or another but still, I'm not prepared to qo back yet. Give me another month perhaps. I'd be ready fer school then.

• Enq TT was sick ystd so we postponed tuition to fri. 3 tuitions on Fri. Whao whao whao. Acc B to rebond her hair after Enq tuition then back tuitions aqain D: Grr.
  

• Out to TM's housey lata fer awhile then meet up w/ Ms Wanq fer dinner.

That's all. Dry & borinq.

GRANT.ME.MOTIVATION. For what i knw i want.

YSTD

Many peepo've attempted this quiz & i thouqht that i miqht well qive it a qo as well (: The results are as follow. It's quite accurate I'd say. I'm not v.sure abt dee majors but dee minors are absolutely true. WHAT MAJOR IS RIGHT FOR YOU? created with QuizFarm.com

You scored as Psychology/Sociology You should strongly consider majoring (or minoring) in Psychology, Sociology, or related majors (e.g., Counseling, Industrial-Organizational (I-O) Psychology, Social Work, or other social science majors).It is possible that the best major for you is your 2nd, 3rd, or even 5th listed category, so be sure to consider ALL majors in your OTHER high scoring categories (below). You may score high in a category you didnt think you would--it is possible that a great major for you is something you once dismissed as not for you. The right major for you will be something 1) you love and enjoy and 2) are really great at it. Consider adding a minor or double majoring to make yourself standout and to combine your interests. Psychology and Sociology are both great minors to add to any major. Psychology/Sociology 100% Mathematics/Statistics 81% Accounting/Finance/Marketing 81% Education/Counseling 69% HR/BusinessManagement 69% French/Spanish/OtherLanguage 69% Visual&PerformingArts 69% English/Journalism/Comm 63% PoliticalScience/Philosophy 63% Nursing/AthleticTraining/Health 56% History/Anthropology/LiberalArts 50% Physics/Engineering/Computer 31% Religion/Theology 31% Biology/Chemistry/Geology 25%

IT'S THE 3RD WEEK OF HOLIDAYS ALR. 3RD WEEK 3RD WEEK. 3RD WEEK. Gah.

Home today to complete housework + hols homework D: Rawrrr!




YSTD


Last min invitation to PartyWorld by Twinnie. Yayzx, thanks fer dee invitation uh Twin. I thouqht i'd be rottinqq @ home tdy. Sanqq, lauqhed & distressed thr. Probably qoinqq thr aqain w/ Twin tmr aft A.Maths supp since we received some voucher, but it's yet to be confirmed.

Recent issues have been troublinq me as most peepo'd have known. Tormented by quilt & friends encouraqinq me to confess to parents. Just ystd niqht before we went to bed, i've decided to pluck up my couraqe & own up. Surely I'd hafta bear my own consequences. Surprisinqly, my parents were totally cool abt it. They seemed to have realised it all alonq, just waitinq fer my to own up + apoloqise. I'm really really relieved that i confessed to them. & I'm really sorry daddy mommy. Notwithstandinq, they noted that because i've took their money, as my punishment, they wouldn't be qivinq me much money fer this hols lest they deem necessary & warned me nvr to repeat dee same mistake aqain D: But that's only what's fair riqht? So i accepted. Sure daddy mommy. This shall be dee v.last time. Promise :D

Everyone makes mistakes fer no one's perfect & i'm sure everyone deserves a second chance. So please, don't just pin me down just bcos of one error.

Reminder to myself : FILE + HAND IN P.CHEM FILE BY TMR TMR TMR! :D



HAPPY 19TH ANNIVERSARY DADDY & MOMMY ♥ Commeratinq 19yrs of marriqe. The both of you have came thus far tqt & may dee both of you keep countinq on :D P.s. Do qet well soon ayeez mommy.

SUNDAY

• Nth much actually. Went to dee charity bazaar w/ mommy. Homed first alone cos mommy said that they'd be stayinq fer quite some time till abt 2 /: Homed at dee thouqht that i could have dee com all to myself till they return home (: Saw really adorable kiddos on dee journey back & it made me think thru my perspective of raisinq children. Parental love, are always dee most powerful & qreatest in dee world.
  

MONDAY

• Tuition was cancelled dee last min cos Ms Soon was not feelinq well.
• Went to East Coast Park w/ YB.S.O.GA.B. Like fer dee first time, we qot to out tqt :D Went to lunch @ AMK hub while waitinq fer B. Met B aft we eat then bus-ed. The bus journey thr was really reallyyy lonq. Tskk. Beach-ed, camwhored, lauqhed, cycled thr. Whilst cyclinq halfway we qot separated from each another & had a touqh time lookinqq fer dee rest. Use dee phone? Well, dee qreatest human invention wasn't by our side at dee moment so it was all dependent on fate. Saw several CCHYSB peepo thr. GA, i hope your leq's fine now. As B said, you've qotten yourself new scars, but at dee same time, it marks a new experience in your life. Bus-ed back, yes same old lonq journey /: Dined @ AMK hub aqain & shopped arnd. Reached home @ arnd 9plus.
• Bon voyaqe to XJ even tho you've alr reached Germany lahh! But still, have fun thr (: & sorry Dawn & i couldn't fetch your plane next sat D:
  

TUESDAY

• Planned to out w/ S.B but since B could only make it in dee afternoon & since S & i have other plans fer dee day, we decided to cancel it.

• Out-ed & shopped arnd & orchard w/ Dawn. Met @ 11+ Collected my specs & Dawn bouqht her Macflurry @ SunPlaza. Trained & we chatted lots abt dee happeninqqs in our life esp pertainqq.. xD Didn't manaqe to buy any lootie. Lunched, then headed to Borders. Spent arnd 2h thr readinq random bks & dee Shopaholic sequel. Gah. I'm hooked on books now yaknw? That woman made me fall in love w/ books aqain, which is G-O-O-D ;D That woman was hunqry & we went to lunch @ Mac aqain. Ate GreenTea MacFlurry. Not exactlys that nice i'd say but if you've a likinq fer bitter stuffs, GreenTea MacFlurry'd be fer you. Dawn related dee story of NewMoon (?) to me & i think i'd read it up someday bah? Sounds pretty interestinq (: Went to Heeren & we had a GREAT lauqh thr @ YX's twinn. Hhah. So funnyyy yaknw? He looks almost exactly like a clone of yx. Same hair, same specs, same actions ( only his twin's was a lil more flamboyant xP ) Suqqested to follow dee twin but Dawn turned dee idea down but when she chanqed her mind, his twin was lonq qone. Looked fer them @ many other shops + shoppinqq centres but they're nowhere to be seen alr /: Took neos then decided to head home alr cos i was runninq late fer tuition alr.

• Intended to hit dee qym tqt w/ S.O.B but S.B couldn't make it & O's skin was peelinq, probably due to sunburn i think. O, speedy recovery k? It's qreat relieve to hear that your skin's much better now ♥

• As i was late, mei decided to skip tuition as i think she was probably impatient by waitinq fer me but i still went ;D A new student fer dee day & it was a G-U-Y! Surprisinqly, cos usu quys are better in sciences, but to note that not ALL riqht?

Cheeros ayeez Dawnn? i've qotten over mine alr, so must you kay? You've always been a v.stronq qirl in my eyes. ♥

Each lesson life sends us brinqs both pain & joy. My all-time fav. phrase :D

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