Someday, I would like to travel to :

& perhaps emigrate to the then country of the highest happiness index (: 

Nothing beats leading a non-commitment & insouciant life yeah?

Getting worse as the days get by
);
Day even started off by getting hit by a bicycle.

Sorry, I acknowledge that I've been petulant & such a put off recently.
Do pardon me alright /:
Have a heart towards someone who has been sliding downwards to a pit nowhere.

I wish I had a puppy at this v.instance to cuddle & seek comfort in );
But I don't.

人们常说简单是福。
有时候做个小人物，同样也可以活得有意义，快乐。
不必勉强自己攀的太高，
因为攀的越高，跌与伤的也会更重。
但人，
可以这么样就满足了吗？
我想我做不到。
因为我再也不能忍受做个隐形人。
甚至连最基本，简单的事我也办不成。
我真的不敢设想我的将来会是如此的暗淡无光。

我真的好没用啊！
彻底的失败。

一个废柴，
没人愿做。

OH YAY.

I shall try t make this post sound as jovial as much as possible, take special note on th word,
try.

CTs are over, yay(?)

Nah, while everyone's whiling away w/ their own celebratory parties now, I think it's only going to be the start of my gloom & misery /: It's patently evident that I'll fare really badly this time around. Come'on, how much can one anticipate from putting in so minimal efforts? I only have myself to blame yeah? D; I think P.Phy and C.Geog are th most challenging papers thus far though /: Oh yes, and not to mention, Com. Humans, th subj which I've always been amateur & inept in ); Careless mistakes all over both mathematics scripts, aww. Despairing alright! D; * Bang head against wall *

Anw, SDC was crap today /: & I thought it was going t be fun! /:

I suppose today just isn't the best of days yeah?
Kkz, I know, it's just me, again.

Man, I so want a pet dog next time when I grow up alright!

When I grow up, grant me ;

- A promising career (most preferably as a hotel/resort manager or events planner)
-Own an exquisitely dainty & cute convertible car :D
- Live in a condominium (either alone or w/ flatmates who're dog/pet-lovers as well (: )
- Adopt several really cuddly dogs & puppies (I'll allocate a huge playroom specially for'em)

Give me all these, just all these, and I'll be satisfied, no, more than sheer contentment actually! :D I'd be so appreciative & thankful! :D

Anw,
the cinemas have so many nice movies launched nowadays!
Wrong distraction at the wrong time huh?

Here are the list of movies I'm so watching after CTs ;

'Let The Right One In'
Horror, NC16
'The Curious Case of Benjamin Button'
Drama, PG
'Slumdog Millionaire'
Comedy, NC16
'The Pink Panther 2'
Comedy, PG
'Marley & Me'
Comedy, Rating not out
'Rachel Getting Married'
Drama, Rating not out
'The Tale Of Despereaux'
Fantasy, Rating not out
'Hotel for Dogs'
Comedy, Rating not out

Tell me if you're intending t watch any of th above listed movies alright! :D
Perhaps I can tag along? Haha. & aww, Bride War's no longer screening anymore ); Wanted t watch it so badly! );

I'm
e-l-a-t-e-d :D

that I've successfully managed t sign up for th film production & tourism talk for th 'What comes after O level talk' for which th graduating classes hafta attend :D
You should have seen the confluence outside th D&T room today! It was such an eye opener, can't rmb when was th last time I saw such scene of a swarming horde in school before :X

Anw,

I've submitted th drop subject forms yesterday. 30% of th class dropped at least one subject or another :X Unpredictably shocking yes? It felt as if I'm th exclusive one submitting so many forms though, inclusive of parental letters etc. ; 5 in total! :X Like a burden heaved from your shoulders, th feeling's simply marvelously wonderfully blitheful! Worry not, I'll still study assiduously k {well, at least make th best efforts to}! :D

Oh shitass, I've yet t revise for CT ); Fancy myself still making th declaration of being industrious /:

It's my ultimate decision, no, I don't regret (:

I must say I'm impressed w/ my determination, I didn't waver anymore this time round :D

Though I really salute t those whom have had more determination t strive, esp. :D. You(all) possess so much qualities I'd never see in myself. I know I'm suited w/ com. science , today, it had all been revealed. I'm delighted that at least I once had a go at Pure though(: Yesyes, t all those who've commented, I had indeed dropped SO MANY subj & things /: I ponder if I go on like this, what will I end up w/ , in life D: Thanks all whom have faith in me, it really is upsetting how I could not live up t this faith all of you had implanted in me, because of my incompetency.

& t those who're unhappy, do cheer up alright. I acknowledge how upsetting this topic could get, because I still feel it too );

Sometimes, we hafta learn t let go of certain things we've been trying t cling on in order t gain more things (:

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY ♥
& a sudden realization that ystd was th Friday 13th, haha. I know I'm slow but whatever alrights! :X

THANK YOU,
t all whom wished me, gave notes, presents alrights!
I do appreciate & like all of'em, really :D

Random;

• I ain't exactly in th Vday mood this year, beats me why too /:

• Thanks so much Sandra for lending your calculator for th weekend, else I wouldn't have been able t accomplish many things ; much gratitude :D

• IPP was not too bad an experience (: Just that I suppose if ystd was th actual thing, th entire class'd have died? Aha.

• I acknowledge that I'm mean, unfeeling & hard t please(?) :X

• I took th drop subj forms, but am still procrastinating, arfgh.

• I'm currently having hots for Physics, th only thing drawing me back from making up my mind regarding dropping of subj /:

• Thanks, thanks, thanks JIAYIN for doing sucha great favor for me :D

• I'm blessed for having people I know I can always turn t 24/7 & whom I can entrust my heart w/.
  

• Turned out that I din execute th surprise planned for my parents coz th secret sort of leaked out, & my parents vaguely saw th presents alr, so I just passed it t'em directly instead. Furthermore, I din have time t make th things for th intended surprise :X

• I'm spending this year's Vday burrying my head in books, oh how marvellously wonderful & well spent. {note th sarcasm} I wish I could head for th move theatres w/ YB.S.O.GA.B & co, pffs. D;

Finally,

settled all th Vday presents today (: It was different from my initial plans though /: Somehow, I ain't v.satisfied w/ what I bought this year coz I get everyone th exact same thing. Didn't have th energy, time & monetary funds t source for different presents for individuals ); Furthermore, I absolutely have no idea what t get for th individuals either. But this year's Vday, it's different. Because I got smth for my parents & xTT :D

And,

THANKS A MILLION
t JYin who helped me keep th presents for xTT alright!

Like somehow you just don't belong
And no one understands you

My current blog song clearly illustrates how I'm feeling presently if you take special notice on th lyrics. Haven't been in th best of moods nowadays. I suppose you're right. I've always choose th easy way out, I escape from tough situations, I don't have th correct attitude towards life, towards my studies, I don't have th fighting spirit, I ain't willing t take risks, I don't trust anyone & everyone, including myself. I always settle for th safe, risk-free route for th fear of getting hurt & fail. I can't fail, I can't accept failure. I do feel th sense of loss when I told you I'm gna combine my sciences, & drop hmt. Your words hit me like a tidal of waves. Been seeking opinions from others, and many told me they ain't combining. I felt so ashamed, so ashamed when those whom haven't been exceling in certain subjs told me they don't wanta drop, because they're willing t make th effort during th upcoming months t improve. Additionally, I've been thinking if I were t have a lil mre touch of perfection, I wouldn't hafta land myself in this situation. I don't engage myself in many activities, what was I exactly doing w/ th time I have from exempting myself from activities then? Letting'em flow away I suppose?

You're absolutely right. HMT had been a subj I've took up since primary school, now I'm dropping? I've struggled t get into 3G during streaming, yet I'm gna combine my sciences? Then I shouldn't have came t this class in th first place. This also led me t reflect how I've been fighting so hard for certain things in life, & sometimes I have certain things, but due t my incompetency, I lose'em as a result.

If I was a lil more perfect, like how everyone else is.
I wouldn't hafta land myself in this situation.
But I can't be how everyone else are.

I DO feel upset coming t this decision alright! Though it's not finalised yet. I'd reconsider seriously before regristration. My life feels v.hollow presently. All that I've been pursuing during all my education years, I'm dropping all of'em now? Letting all my past efforts and ups & downs I've been through t a waste? If this is th way I'm trashing my life.

Deleted previous post (: Decided t overlook th matter w/ graciousness ;P

Anw, that's th CT1 timetable in th picture above ^
Yep, that's my current subj combi, nope, I most certainly didn't highlight wrongly, I'm dropping my pure sciences & combining my sciences. So yep, taking th same combi as a few of th fellow 4Ds. Sometimes I wonder if I've made a wrong decision in entering in 4G, bcoz I still end up taking th combination similar t other classes /:

Parents getting cranky while I'm typing all this out :X Just bcoz I tell my mom off for being inconsiderate t others feelings, which she seriously is. Whatever la, still comment that I can't take negative comments, she also mah. -'-

P.s. I'm super irritated w/ tchrs classifying their students according t th grades they think they'll attain @ 'O's. Come'on la, would you like t have people & tchrs calling you 'F9 come here' etc. ? & this is a note t all tchrs who like t have th mentality t classify their students according t such,
THE BEST FALLS DOWN SOMETIMES, THE WEAKER ONES MAKE A COMEBACK TOO.
Of course, it'd most definitely be a honor t be regarded by any tchr t be a potential A1 student, but what abt th others who ain't? Ever stopped t think how demoralising it's for us? My spirits have been put off tdy whn you told me that. Frank is an issue, but I still insist that impossible is nothing. Everyone's capable of an A1, I'm utmost positive. Regardless of whoever you are. As long as you're willing t make an effort, everyone & anyone can be achievers alright! Geddit you? So stop scrutinizing us as hopeless people alright, everyone sitted in th class are potential A1 scorers for 'O's ok!
WEAK IS SO NOT EQUIVALENT T HOPELESS.
So don't be disheartened if th tchr look down on you alright! Bcoz we all knw they're gna make'em eat their words someday (: Feeling so ashamed for whtever they've remarked on us, just bcoz of what they THINK, that we'll never make it.