Xcept it wasn't all tht joyous for me @all. I don't feel like celebratin anyth @ all this month, seriously anyth and everyth. Told daddy tht I wish t withdraw from EOY, & I meant it earnestly. He didn't allow, of course, but it only made me feel worse. He's encouragin me despite everyth & he still believed in me. I've nvr really spoke abt this issue w/ anyone, bcos no1 would ever trully understand, bcos th people I've always seeked comfort in has left t other people's side. Yknw how I feeel? Ever stopped t think 'bout how I feeel all this while? Yet everyday I hafta smile bcos tht's how I'm supposed t behave.