Like somehow you just don't belong
And no one understands you

My current blog song clearly illustrates how I'm feeling presently if you take special notice on th lyrics. Haven't been in th best of moods nowadays. I suppose you're right. I've always choose th easy way out, I escape from tough situations, I don't have th correct attitude towards life, towards my studies, I don't have th fighting spirit, I ain't willing t take risks, I don't trust anyone & everyone, including myself. I always settle for th safe, risk-free route for th fear of getting hurt & fail. I can't fail, I can't accept failure. I do feel th sense of loss when I told you I'm gna combine my sciences, & drop hmt. Your words hit me like a tidal of waves. Been seeking opinions from others, and many told me they ain't combining. I felt so ashamed, so ashamed when those whom haven't been exceling in certain subjs told me they don't wanta drop, because they're willing t make th effort during th upcoming months t improve. Additionally, I've been thinking if I were t have a lil mre touch of perfection, I wouldn't hafta land myself in this situation. I don't engage myself in many activities, what was I exactly doing w/ th time I have from exempting myself from activities then? Letting'em flow away I suppose?

You're absolutely right. HMT had been a subj I've took up since primary school, now I'm dropping? I've struggled t get into 3G during streaming, yet I'm gna combine my sciences? Then I shouldn't have came t this class in th first place. This also led me t reflect how I've been fighting so hard for certain things in life, & sometimes I have certain things, but due t my incompetency, I lose'em as a result.

If I was a lil more perfect, like how everyone else is.
I wouldn't hafta land myself in this situation.
But I can't be how everyone else are.

I DO feel upset coming t this decision alright! Though it's not finalised yet. I'd reconsider seriously before regristration. My life feels v.hollow presently. All that I've been pursuing during all my education years, I'm dropping all of'em now? Letting all my past efforts and ups & downs I've been through t a waste? If this is th way I'm trashing my life.